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July 25 so long agoI can't believe how much time has passed since I have written anything. I have been living my life and enjoying it. I turned 51 this year and it is fabulous. I still on the healthy eating program. There is a little more less of me. I have had more talk time with my sons, though it now appears less with my daughter. She seems content and happy nd that is all hat is important to me. I will be back when there is more time to post pics of my latest adventures. March 30 Less of Me-Naked evenOk, 30 days later. I am actually seeing less of me in the mirror. I happened to mention it to my friend, Katrina, who also happens to be my massage therapist and she said she noticed it when she was giving me a massage a few days before. Then she went on to say it was especially noticable when I was naked!!! Well, that just tickled me to no end, because my efforts are paying off. Hoodia did not work for me, so I started Special K in the AM and PM with snacks and regular meal at lunch. That is working. I am also not doing sweets ---at all!!! Can you imagine, no more birthday cake   My favorite thing in the whole world!!! But I am stronger than any birthday cake and I am proving it. I can't wait to take my pic and post it in about 6 months.March 01 A Brand New World I now have a real picture of why the guy showed up. For a moment I was made to feel beautiful, smart, desirable and my weight never came up (for either of us). I don't remember thinking at any point "Don't you see the fat girl" I was ok sending a picture of me now and it seemed to be well recieved. I felt like I am fine and in those few weeks I gained a new image of me. I realize I was walking past the mirror and actually liked what I saw. It dawned on me that when you love someone that you are looking at who they are, not what they look like, and I love me.
The reason God allowed me to open up enough for him to attract me was so the deepest root could be plucked. The root that made me feel if I lost weight I would be in jeopardy of returning to the old me. Well the lesson I learned is that I will do the right thing regardless, now I know I can and will lose the weight and be trusted to keep my covenant with God. That is an awesome revelation!! So today begins the new me..I am going to try Hoodia and see if it works. Wish me less of me!!! February 26 RomanceI think I gave up on a chance to have real romance in my life. But if it ain't what God promised me, I don't want it. I had a friend from the past contact me and it was a great reconnection for us both, until I decided that I wanted to tell the truth about my life and how I choose to live it. I had to explain about why I am celibate and choose to remain that way for someone special. This man was pretty cool to chat with online and he is a fine brother, but he wasn't counting on that. So he sent me a note stating he understood and attached a song called It's Fine by Mary J. Blige. I went to the lyrics and I think he is gone. Oh well, wasn't meant for me. So I now have to figure out how to round up all this desire that got loose and put it back to sleep. Hopefully not for another 8 years. January 09 Welcome to my 2008Here I am, once again without any resolutions! I can't think of a single one to make that wouldn't get broken, so I won't make any. This way I don't lie to myself. I will however continue on my current path to eat more healthy and park my car further away. somewhere down the line I may get on my treadmill (hey, that wan't a resoulution) I'm just sayin'- is all!! My New Year's Eve was wonderful. I picked up my youngest son and went to church, he spent the night with me. We played Dominos and Scrabble, I baked a Chocolate pound cake, which he took home and it was a good night. He actually thanked me for a good time. I saw my daughter a short time on Christmas and I am always glad to view her. We went to the movies to see The Great Debaters, it was a good movie-I will own that one. This is going to be a good year. I will praise God for all the things I have been brought through and kept from in the past year and all He is taking me to. I believe He will continue to work in the lives of my children, to further their commitment to His Kingdom and to give Him the Glory for their accomplishments, when it is all said and done, everyone will know that it had to be God that did it. The number eight is the a new order or way of doing things to bring about a new beginning.
HAPPY NEW YEAR December 18 Once was lost. but now foundMy page has been lost for a month now. For some strange reason I could not get back to it. MSN made me sign up with a new name and everything, then I couldn't get on with that name. Then voila, here it is suddenly again. I am glad to see it back. I went to Daytona Beach for Thanksgiving and had a blast. I didn't get to look for Jaws in the ocean, it was too cold, but I will have another chance. The sunrise was so beautiful on Thanksgiving morning, I took pictures and video. I haven't watched a sunrise in soooo long. Probably because there hasn't been anyone to watch it with. I was so honored to be counted as family and asked to participate in the trip, I made a way to go. I just need to remind myself next time to bring loud music, the flight was full of children, whiny ones, crying ones, talking ones, staring ones and just down right bad ones. I made a decision at that moment on the plane that I don't want to be a grandmother, then it hit me, yes I do, because these were the parents. Not the grandparents LOL!!!
I am on vacation this week and wouldn't you know it. My first day I got called into work. I did it with an understanding I would not receive another call this week. I already have to give up two days for union business. Tomorrow I will do my union minutes and nothing else. Wednesday if John remembers we will move furniture around, if he doesn't then we won't. Thursday is get the car stuff fixed and Friday is another union day. Saturday I will sleep in---late. Man, I am already tired from vacation week!!! November 10 A new weight classIt has been a little over a month since Dr. White (with his fine self) told me I had Diabetes. I still say I don't and he didn't give me any meds to say I do, so there, I don't. I have chosen to eat differently and cut out sweets (except for special occasions-sometimes) and I have lost about 12 pounds. It is enough weight loss for others to notice and then I saw less of me in the mirror yesterday, no more double chin. I am so excited I forgot to eat today. I know I must, because that is how I have been losing. I eat breakfast, usually two eggs-sunnyside up, turkey bacon-which I have grown to love, and dry toast or a pillsbury biscuit- great bargain in frozen bag that one at a time can be baked. Then i fix my lunch for work, usually a salad with 1 oz of dressing, chicken breast tender or roasted turkey, almond slivers and croutons(one day a week), an apple or grapple(looks like apple and taste like grape), animal crackers (to replace cookie fetish), raisins. I eat at the end of every two hour trip on of the things in my bag. If I don't eat it all, I use it the next day for the first trip. I eat yougurt and fruit or cottage cheese when I get home. It is a lot less food than I was accustomed to, but I am not hungry like before. I went to Southern Fires (my favorite restaurant) and the meal lasted for three sittings. Today I am making spaghetti with ground turkey meat. I have limited my beef and pork to twice a week, if at all-some weeks it has been nothing but chicken. I only eat out once in a two week period and then it is not over endulged. I went to Red Lobster for a friend's birthday celebration, but I had been to Southern Fires the week before, so I just got the soup and salad. I was satisfied because i was so disciplined. I have gained a new confidence in myself for discipline and 'Ethel' is going down!!!!! October 13 I am Winning!!I had my followup visit with the handsome Dr. White and he was very impressed with my progress (he even flirted with me-I think). My ear has healed and I lost 5 pounds in a week and a few days. He checked my blood work results and compared them to the results he recieved from my previous doctor from July and the levels are lower on the latest test.
I don't need meds and he doesn't need to see me for 6 months th retest. I am being trusted to fight Ethel on my own. SHE IS GOIN' DOWN!!!!! in 6 months I plan to have a lot less of her hanging onto me for free rides. She is already starving and feeling deprived.
this is what I call the victory-I won't shout yet, though. Soon, very soon the shout will come. October 03 It is called CellulitisI noticed a patch of dryness around my earring hole and put peroxide on it. I never thought much more about it than that. Then it felt like the hole became infected, still treating it as normally for a minor infection. Well a month passed and it never healed, so it is time to get a doctor's view on this. The doctor knew immediately what it was and said "It is called Cellulitis and you have Diabetes". I remained calm (on the inside) "NO I DON'T" I replied. "YES YOU DO" he said. Then he prescribed an antibiotic called Keflex. After 7 days, I am not seeing any improvement and I feel like I am starting to get Strep in my throat (how do you get Strep while on an antibiotic). Ok, so now I have no confidence in the doctor and I need to look up some stuff for myself and tell him what he needs to do for me.
First, I read about Diabetes and I have changed my diet properly (Good Girl) and then I read about Cellulitis (Oh my God, people die from this). I read about mild to severe cases (in the lympnodes) and I fell in the almost severe (the doctor didn't hospitalize me) case because my lympnodes are swollen and infected. Then I read about the antibiotic and how it destroys the bacterial. Each bacteria that dies triggers an explosion of sorts and leaves the patient with flu and sinussitis symtems (thus the strep feeling, the stuffiness, etc.). Just then the phone rings and it is the doctor wanting to know if there is any improvement, not much!! I explained I had been taking the meds, soaking the ear in peroxide ("Don't do that"), putting Vaseline on it to keep it supple ("Don't put Vaseline on it"), bandaging it at night ("Let the air hit it"). so what am I doing all the wrong things?! YES!!! Can I put lotion on it to stop the itch? NO!! JUST LEAVE IT ALONE. He called in a more potent antibiotic that looks like a horse tablet and started working within hours.
I am still a little stuffy, but I feel the difference. I did take a day off work because I didn't want to drive again all night with this stuffy head and sudden drainage thing back and forth. Let's hope it will be done after tonight.
Now I am very careful to look at my skin and evaluate any flaw. September 29 Diabetes I thought being 50 was going to be a breeze. First the teeth, now this. During my vacation, I decided to check out my new doctor. I needed to find out why this 'thing' on my ear and in my nose wouldn't heal. I had been doing everything I normally would do for a sore to help it heal. Well, as soon as I got to see him and my blood pressure went down (he is quite handsome) he said you have Diabetes, that is why it won't heal. Then he went on to explain how with Diabetes it is common to get skin infections and that is what I am fighting. Well, the devil is a liar!!!!!! I will give up my birthday cake to beat this one.
He also gave this other person that my 5' frame is sharing with a name.
Ethel. I knew I had enough weight for two, but I had never named the other person
 "You and Ethel are going to have to fight , because Ethel wants you to eat that extra piece of birthday cake. You want to go to the movies and she wants to go out to eat, and you need to fight to win".
LET THE BATTLE BEGIN-SWORDS DRAWN (or should I say forks).
Ethel is going down.
First round- I pulled the treadmill out and took it for a test drive
Second round-I actually used my exercise ball while watching TV for 30 minutes
Third round-I actually tasted the cake tonight and left the whole slice of birthday cake on the table-didn't even nibble.
 I was told Diabetes could be reversed and that is what I choose to believe. I don't have Diabetes, I just have a diagnosis-God is my healer and He will deliver me (but I will do my part just in case He is busy and I would have to wait in the Miracle line) Birthday weekThis was supposed to be my vacation week-Bah Humbug!! Several friends have birthdays this week and my father and son are Monday, Oct 1 (yes he was my father's birthday gift). I spent my vacation week doing the good friend thingy-hanging out doing what friends want to do. I wanted to do what I wanted to do this week, but it was so worth it to hang out with good friends. Tonight I went to Phyllis' 60th Birthday Party at the Belle Isle Casino, it was grand. The food was great, there was much glitz and glam and we danced. Her two sons really did their mother proud. My friend looked elegant in her one of a kind dress.
Check out my eyelashes with real diamonds (dust) on them (I think I got some in my eye). August 08 update on teethI didn't make it to church on Sunday or Wednesday (I did watch the webcast), because I thought I wasn't having any pain and decided I didn't need another Tylenol 3 before bed-wrong!!!! I woke up Sunday morning and was running to find the bottle with the meds I needed. The pain was just getting started, but I knew it was going to get bigger, quickly. Afterall, it had only been two days since the surgery. I guess i hadn't really thought that it was really surgery-wrong again!!!!
The dentist called me on Sunday evening and asked if I had questions or any great discomfort. First of all, I was shocked he called himself to ask, and when I asked him if he would take me off work until my next visit and he agreed-wow!! A doctor/dentist that actually has the best interest of the patient as a priority. Then I opened my door to discover he had sent me 5 beautiful white roses with a thank you for being a patient card attached. This guy makes you feel a lot better about paying the huge bill.
So now this is the 5th day in the house and I am getting a little edgy. I am actually getting bored with online games-besides being too woozy to win.
I should reiterate that dental care is of the utmost importance if you plan to have your own teeth for a while. August 04 My TeethFriday I had oral surgery for gingivitis/peridontal disease. First of all I must say fear had me bound about this from the beginning. I was feeling sorry for myself, because I had no one to go with me and bring me home. I really am beginning to understand these little old ladies that ride the bus every day just to get groceries a little at a time because there is no one to help them. My compassion is growing daily.
The dentist must be aware of this trend also, because they sent a car to pick me up and drop me off and had a nurse sit 2 hours with me at home to be sure I was ok. It should have made me feel like a star.
The surgery seems to be a success thus far. I haven't had any pain, but in all fairness I haven't stopped taking the Tylenol 3's every 4-6- hours either. actually it has been about 10 hours since I took the last one-I think.
I can only eat very soft foods for the next two weeks so I should lose a pound or two. I have been really enjoying the instant mashed potatoes and pudding cups the most. I am tempted to puree some meat in the blender, because I truly am a meat eater. I can't imagine no meat for two weeks. I think I will call on Monday to be sure it is soft foods for two weeks.
I had to stay in all day because the meds have my immune system down, but I am going to church tommorrow.
Well, all of this has been said to remind you to take care of your teeth-brush, floss daily and rinse after meals. see a dentist religiously every 6 months for cleanings. I failed my mouth, but I am making up for it. sporting this ugly cemented smile for two weeks will be a great lesson learned for me. August 02 My Baby is SafeFor those of you that know my daughter, Cherish lives in Minneapolis, she is safe. She was home at the time of the tragedy, but unfortunately for so many others the story is not the same. so at this time I ask all of you to pray for the families of MN, whether affected directly or not. This will devastate the entire community at some point. I can only imagine it will in the least, paralyze traffic to the university and downtown areas. August 01 My PC grew up a little moreWell, I finally was forced into an upgrade by SBC. I can't believe that without warning, they just shut down the virus scan for my PC. I tried and tried to get the scan to work and when i finally went to the website -I saw it!!!!! The same horrible message from Microsoft Wimdows site a few months ago WE NO LONGER SUPPORT WINDOWS ME. Egads!!!!!! This has really created some abandonment issues for me. I wish they cared enough for me to tell them.
So off I went in search of Windows XP and the pricing game. Then I couldn't figure out which one I was supposed to get. So I called the computer wizard's mother (Phyllis) and asked her to ask her son. Of course, she tried to tell me her thoughts that I should get the full version, because I never had XP in the first place-just ask him for me. Aha!!! I was right to think I only needed the upgrade version. I decided to get it at Wal-Mart on my way home from work, because everything else was out of the way and the few cents I might have saved, would have been guzzled in gas. So Wal-Mart is was. The guy in the department is always so confusingly helpful and wouldn't you know it, he recognized me and ran to me. He went on to explain (quietly) how I could use the upgrade version to do a full version if I had my ME cd available, and it would be like having a new machine-he does it all the time. i chose to ignore that because I know a new machine would wipe out everything I have already.
Ok, i get the box home and sit down to upgrade. It should be done in about an hour - he said......try 4 hours later i was still sitting here. But now my computer is all grown up and working well. July 14 50 and a weekI have been aged 50 for exactly one week now and I still feel great about it. That is a sure sign the year ahead will be a good one emotionally. I had a party at my friend, Mary Foley's house and it was such a wonderful surprise that people actually showed up for it. You never really know if you have friends until you have an event that makes them leave their city boundaries. it was at 30 miles for most to drive and more for others. I had a great time. We put up (well, ok they put up) tents, a screened tent for the food and a porta-pottie with soap, sink and mirror inside (too many flushes would overwhelm the septic tank). My friend had to explain to me several times about the porta-pottie before i actually got it. She and her husband went over the whole septic tank issues from installation to every 3 years draining costs. It was very complicated and I was ok with the thing once it got there and I saw it was a short seat (I can't squat in most of them because they have taller seating) and the soap dispenser was above the sink. Most of my guest seemed to be alright with it, at least they used it. I got amazing gifts and a nice financial shopping spree. The food was soooo good, I had more than I could handle, several times and the cakes were so good. check out the pictures. I GOT FRIENDS!!!!! June 28 My PMH DayToday I took a Personal Mental Health day, just because. I was in negotiations for two days and I have never felt myself rolling my eyes more than those two days. In fact, my eyes got confused later and didn't know what to look at. So today I give them rest. I can't believe the things that go on in those meetings. I mean, both sides are still totally rediculous after several months. Seems we would be getting to the real points by now, but both sides are still wanting an unlimited sky thing. It is hard for me because I can see the reasons why both sides want what they ask for and can see why the other should give a little, but I can't say anything. So today is the day I let all of it go until July 16 and 17th, when I have to roll my eyes again.
I recommend these PMH days whenever needed. I actually slept 9 hours and felt rested. June 23 I'm Back....AgainI sometimes forget I have an opportunity to blog and get my thoughts in order. Lately my thoughts have been kinda scattered because of all the things going on with my peeps. I started a new work schedule and it is a blast. All the drivers were afraid to take this run that pays almost 10 hours overtime bilt into 5 days. I AIN'T SKERD....I got so many condolences, warnings and pats on the back for taking the run. I prayed over it and ......guess what!!!! I love it. 9 Mile is not bad if you learn to work it and not allow it to work you. I am having so many daily adventures with my 'couzins' everyday. I start at 5 am and get off at 2:50 pm, usually getting an additional 30 minutes overtime each day. So I say my off time is 3:30 pm for the effect. Tommorrow is Victuals Offering at Detroit World Outreach. I am so excited about it, because scripture says when you make a pledge to God and pay it, you have the right to declare a thing and God is obligated to perform it (as long as it lines up with His Will, of course). Well, because of the events in this past year and the beginning of the current year, I am declaring things in the lives of my children and my life. I am not asking God for things, or a husband, but I want him to heal my childrens' hearts toward me, and mine toward them. I believe with healing, I could have the desired relationships with them we all deserve to have. I declare I will be important to them and they to me. I declare I will not die before this is accomplished. I am so excited to see God manifest in our lives someday. Unfortunately, Victuals doesn't allow us to set the timing for the blessings. LOL!!!! I spent this day cleaning my house (all except for my bedroom). I can't seem to have enough energy for the bedroom. I am having a BBQ cookout for my 50th birthday on July 7th at my friend, Mary Foley's house. She truly is my friend. God knew the desire of my heart and how much turning 50 years old means to me, and I wanted to celebrate with those who love me (or appear to). I wasn't meant to survive at birth, according to the doctors, much less live 50 years beyond that, have two good at the time marriages (one that produced two beautiful children that I love more than any earthly thing), an opportunity to give a child hope that had none, have a good job that I love and the few people in my life I can call friend, but God has a plan for my life. I once thought my only purpose was to get Cherish and John here to do great things for the Lord, they're getting closer but that hasn't manifested yet, so there must have been another purpose in the interim. I got it, get Tony to a place where he loves God and is willing to serve Him wholly. Almost there, but not quite, so there must be something else. And that is what has me so excited now. I can't wait to see what else good is in His plan for me to do. I can say that I have done good so far with the purposes, even with mistakes, I obeyed-eventually. Overall, God has been good to me and I can look back and see all the times I feel/felt alone and know the presence of God has always been here to lead, guide and protect me. I have really had more good years out of the 50 than not so good-none were truly just bad, except one (I left my Christmas tree up for 8 months that year). So HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF and I pray those who I love, count me worthy in their lives to celebrate with me. May 13 Mother's Day Bah HumbugToday is a day to celebrate the mothers of this country. It is supposed to be a day to honor those who got you here by whatever means, raised you to be whatever you turned out to be and those who truly deserve it. I must fit into one of the first catagories, because I have not been honored with love from my children in a long time, if ever. But the thing about it is, it used to really matter to me that they felt that way, now I am pretty content with myself and believe I gave what I had to give and good enough or not-it was what I had to give. I guess I am learning now to take the lessons my mother tried to teach me about parenting while she was here for the short time to watch me become a parent. The one thing she did say that impacted me was that I was a good mother and she was proud of me for the sacrifices I made to put my children first. And that someday it would be appreciated. (tap, tap, tap) still waiting!!!!!
I believe every mother starts out with the best interest of the child(ren) and perhaps somewhere along the line the ones that are weak just give up trying to please everyone. I was once weak, so I understand that. Parenting is more emotional than rational for me. I wanted to have the promise of undying love for and from my children, I guess it is also unrealistic for me.
So today while I watched others get their koudos for mothering, I smiled for them because I also know that feeling of having gotten it right once in a while.
To all the mothers that it still matters to.....HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY April 22 By Tambourine-I think I got itGet it by George-by Tambourine hehehe..I thought it was cute anyway. Well i went and kept up with the other new dancers. With much practice and cooertion, my feet are complying with my request to go this way and that. I am so sore from moving faster (not to mention more) than I have in a long time. It feels great.
I also had the most wonderful massage experience yesterday. I decided to try a new massage therapist and man-what took me so long!!!!! Katrina is so anointed to do what she does. I left out of her spa and almost tripped over my own feet, because I was walking straight instead of that wobble thingy I called a walk. I was walking so fast and straight, I had to stop and get my balance. Even todayI am not stiff after sitting.
I am going to get up from this puter in a minute though. I won't tempt fate.
If anyone ever sees this and wants to go to her: Fundamentals Spa 118 E. 9 Mile Ferndale. She is also going to be the new owner next month and will only have a select clientele-I made the cut!!!! |
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